Monday, 31 May 2010

EOTW #16: Eurovision Special

Yes, with the recent Bank Holiday weekend came the by-now-traditional 'mixed' weather but also the Eurovision Song Contest; a televisual feast that divides opinion even more than Israel's nautical stop-and-search policy..., in the interest of harmonious cross-border relations, this week's EU-funded* Euphemisms Of The Week focuses on the wonderfully translated foreign-language entries to the aforementioned cultural event. All of these appeared live on screen for those of you following the competition via the BBC's 'red button' interactive service which helpfully scrolls the lyrics across the bottom of the screen for each act. And I'm calling them 'Europhemisms', before any bugger else does :)
  • Leaving the porch light on
  • Wiping the dust off your love
  • Hiding the apricot stone
  • Seeing the end at your window
  • Scratching the fallen ceiling
  • Arranging the books
  • Mending the shabby gown
And a special EOTW mention to our friends at Watch With Mothers for their 'as-heard' translation of Portugal's entry, which can be seen and chuckled at here. Fear the potatoes indeed...

* no, not really.

Thursday, 27 May 2010

Overheard (Slight Return)

This gem was too good not to share, from cricket last night:
"So when's the baby due?"
"3rd of August"
"And do you know what it is?"
"Yes, it's a Tuesday"

Wednesday, 26 May 2010


Today we find ourselves on the receiving end of a wonderful collaboration between Major Lazer (aka Diplo & Switch) and high-flying chanteuse of this parish(ish), La Roux.

Now that, ladies & gentlemen, is the sound of Summer 2010, right there. Mash ups & remixes, dancehall & dubstep, the whole nine yards - all featuring Elly's distinctive vocals and Mad Decent's full-on production nous. Fire up the Quattro [surely 'beemer' - South London Ed.] and get the subs warmed up. Standard.

Monday, 24 May 2010

EOTW #15

The sun is out, the sky is blue, it must be time, for the Sony Award nominated* Euphemisms Of The Week [scansion needs work - Ed.]

Recently observed on the web of shame:
  • Viewing the rear terrace
  • Meeting Ewan McGregor in the canteen
  • Shunting trucks for Daisy
  • Flying from Southampton
  • Walking past the butchers
More to follow...

* no, not really.

Thursday, 20 May 2010

Font Preview

"The Google Font Directory lets you browse all the fonts available via the Google Font API. All fonts in the directory are available for use on your website under an open source license and served by Google servers."

Online real-time controls for font family, typeface, decoration, size, shadow and spacing. When you like the look of it, copy the code and you're done. Aces.

A is for Agnew

If you're a bit cricket mad, like what I am, you should definitely check out the Alternative Cricket Dictionary from The Wisden Cricketer website. Collated from reader suggestions via email and Twitter, it's a somewhat irreverent alphabetical look at the names and events that have shaped the great game.

So far we're up to 'G' but recent highlights include:
  • Ball-tampering -- Emotive and complicated grey area, the seriousness of which depends on whether the accused is from Pakistan or not.
  • Cricket, Mr -- Nickname of Michael Hussey. The brilliance of the moniker hangs on the fact that the subject plays cricket.
  • Engineer, Farokh -- Lancs and India wicketkeeping legend who recently saw his most-prized record “Most Brilliantly Named Indian Cricketer Whose Name Begins With ‘E’” come under threat from the new generation. See Einstein, Napoleon.
  • Gripper, Trevor -- Hardest-sounding man in cricket ever.
Enjoy :)

Tuesday, 18 May 2010

Kate Bash

OK, so this made me proper chortle today and it'll be all over the blogs like a rash, so here:

Arguably a minute or so too long - the middle eight? - but the idea is splendid ("Wuvverin' wuvverin' wuvverin' haits") and a quick punt around YouTube unearthed this little gem as well:

Yes, we like.

Monday, 17 May 2010

EOTW #14

... so I said to Bono, well if that's what you think you can shove your Joshua Tree up your ... oh, there you are, do come in - is it that time already? Right, here we go with the NME-approved* Euphemisms Of The Week:

Recently observed on the web of shame:
  • Riding on the tiger-shaped suitcase
  • Taking delivery of the neighbour's package
  • Stealing the bananas
  • Pruning the wisteria at number ten
  • Sourcing a railway sleeper
More to follow...

* no, not really.

Friday, 14 May 2010

A Little Pizza Italy

Alex brought me a present back from Naples.

I think it might actually be the best thing ever.

Tuesday, 11 May 2010


Lovely infographic from SectionDesign in Wired attempting to predict the winner of this summer's World Cup through the use of linear regression on population, GDP, experience and home advantage. They claim it is effective 72% of the time...

...and whilst I'm sure a few would agree with the winner, some of the earlier rounds leave me scratching my head! Still, get your tenner on Serbia, by the looks of it :)

(via the always wonderful Information Is Beautiful blog)

Monday, 10 May 2010

EOTW #13

The electorate has spoken! Yes, we must press on with the Economist-recommended* Euphemisms Of The Week - it is the will of the people, and that:

Recently observed on the web of shame:
  • Giving Freddie a pat
  • Browning the mince
  • Following Joanna Lumley down the Nile
  • Transfixed by the quivering bangles.
  • Skimming the scum off the lentils
More to follow...

* no, not really.

Monday, 3 May 2010

EOTW #12

I am return! Volcano, schmolcano - the New Yorker-endorsed* Euphemisms Of The Week must go on, thusly:

Recently observed on the web of shame:
  • Rigging Brundle's chopper with cameras
  • Compressing the trombone
  • Living next door to Louis Walsh
  • Putting the carpet back properly
  • Riding the pink bike**
More to follow...

* no, not really.

** a celebrity submission, from Mr Simon Pegg!