Someone needs to go further and launch a chain called Shambles, where all the familiar shortcomings are actively promoted as part of the "experience". The staff wear ironic dunce caps and vulture costumes; if you want to actually buy something, they walk to a stockroom 10 miles away in a neighbouring county to check its availability, methodically harass you into taking out five-year cover using a subtle combination of CIA "extraordinary rendition" psychological techniques and unashamed sulking, then arrange for it to be delivered at 7am by a surly man who'll arrive 10 hours late on purpose, deliberately bring a BD4437BX instead of the BD3389BZ you ordered, attach a magic hidden "hobbling" device that causes it to malfunction immediately before the next bank holiday weekend, screw your partner, scare your kids, wreck your life, and break wind on your doorstep as he's leaving. All of which is heavily advertised as an integral part of the service.I really think someone should get on Dragons Den and pitch it. God, how I'd love to see their faces.
Showing posts with label grauniad. Show all posts
Showing posts with label grauniad. Show all posts
Wednesday, 25 November 2009
In A Spin
Another nice 'modern life is rubbish' piece from Mr Brooker (yes, I know it was a couple of weeks ago; here, have a biscuit)
Particularly fond of the final paragraph:
Sunday, 18 October 2009
But It's No iPhone...
You should probably read this:
"Oil is vital and Britain hasn't got much of it. I hope it won't be vital forever but it certainly still is. There are worse reasons to fight or appease than the procurement of a necessity. If we went to war for food, I doubt anyone would blame us."
Monday, 12 October 2009
GO < CB < Me
Old Man Brooker spot on, again - I think the final paragraph should be read out in school assemblies across the land:
Wednesday, 7 October 2009
Pednatic To A Fault
I have a new favourite Wikipedia page (thanks, Doug)
Muphry's Law also dictates that, if a mistake is as plain as the nose on your face, everyone can see it but you. Your readers will always notice errors in a title, in headings, in the first paragraph of anything, and in the top lines of a new page. These are the very places where authors, editors and proofreaders are most likely to make mistakes.
Saturday, 27 September 2008
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