Monday, 28 June 2010

EOTW #19

Anyone go to Glastonbury? No, me either. Shame, I bet there were some wonderful Euphemisms Of The Week to be had there. Ah well, as ever the internet is our saviour.

Recently observed on the web of shame:
  • Succumbing to the elk
  • Loving the mint
  • Filling in the wallchart
  • Dusting off the bagpipes
  • Racing supercars in Belgium
More to follow...

* no, not really.

Just Listen Tar-dis

This is was just too cool, until the BBC took it down. Boring bastards.

I don't really watch Doctor Who, but that theme tune sends shivers down my spine, especially the major key resolution (into what might be loosely termed the middle eight) and with Orbital's crunching breakbeat and Matt Smith having the time of his life, this looks like the awesomest way to close Glastonbury 2010.

Monday, 21 June 2010

EOTW #18

Football. The beautiful game. It's everywhere at the moment - so why should your favourite MOTD-analysed* Euphemisms Of The Week be any different, eh? Commentators are a rich seam of euphemistic possibility; in fact, I'm convinced some of the pundits try to shoehorn them in deliberately (yes, you, Robbie Savage). Anyway, recently observed on the TV & Radio coverage of the FIFA World Cup 2010:
  • Dropping back into the hole
  • Testing the keeper's handling
  • Closely marking the big pair up front
  • Jostling for position in the box
  • Letting fly from distance
More to follow...

* no, not really.

Friday, 18 June 2010

At The Group Stage

Loads of people have been asking whether goal difference, goals scored or head-to-head results will be used to decide who goes through from the group stages in the 2010 World Cup. It is in fact all three, in that order!

From the FIFA Tournament Regulations, page 47:
5. The ranking of each team in each group will be determined as follows:

a) greatest number of points obtained in all group matches;
b) goal difference in all group matches;
c) greatest number of goals scored in all group matches.

If two or more teams are equal on the basis of the above three criteria, their
rankings will be determined as follows:

d) greatest number of points obtained in the group matches between the
teams concerned;
e) goal difference resulting from the group matches between the teams
f) greater number of goals scored in all group matches between the teams
g) drawing of lots by the FIFA Organising Committee.
So there you are. Not too many draws please England, or we might end up in a hat...

Wednesday, 16 June 2010

Double Genius

This is astonishing. From the distance run to the number of players passed, to the jinks, the turns and the finish, it is pretty much identical:

Spooked, anyone?

Thursday, 10 June 2010

Testing BlogPress on the iPhone

Will this work?

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Tuesday, 8 June 2010

Inevitable World Cup Post

In case you hadn't noticed, there's a World Cup on soon.

Vast swathes of newsprint and gazillions of bytes have spewed forth with statistics, predictions, fixtures, teamsheets, injuries, clinical analysis of the debilitating effects of altitude at each of the the ten venues and every other trivial piece of information you could possibly wish to have to hand for the duration of the tournament. But ultimately, at the end of the day, Brian, it's all about the game: 11 versus 11 for 90 minutes in pursuit of the ultimate prize in international football. I can hardly wait.

Still, after stocking the fridge and putting up the wallchart there still appears to be nigh on four days to go, so I've entered* this Predictor game, in which you choose the outcome (win/lose/draw) of every game in the tournament, hoping to get 45+ out of the 48 correct and win a share of one meeeeeeeeellion pounds in cash.

And thanks to the eagle-eyed @arseblog on Twitter, here is a Fantasy Cheaters League competition in which you select the XI players most likely to bend the rules during the tournament. Points are awarded for a variety of transgressions including diving, feigning injury, waving invisible cards at referees and stealing yards at free-kicks and throw-ins but players lose points for actual yellow/red cards, as they were clearly not good enough at cheating to get away with it! Brilliant idea, so I've entered that too :)

Oh, and The Guardian has updated its Pick The Score game to cover the 2010 World Cup so I'd better have a stab at that as well...

...right, those small diversions should pass the time until 3pm on Friday; other than that, come on England!

* amusingly, the sole bet I had to place to enter the Predictor came in first at 9/1 each way, so I'm £50 up already :)

Monday, 7 June 2010

EOTW #17

Hauling ourselves out of a warm, comfortable bed and lurching folornly down the road into the start of another working week, we stumble past the prostrate form of The Publican-championed* Euphemisms Of The Week, as it recovers from the after-effects of one too many cider slammers.

Recently observed on the web of shame:
  • Going up to Hampstead for a wander
  • Drinking prosecco in Estonia
  • Collecting the oboe
  • Sitting on the giant pink sofa
  • Losing the percussion egg
More to follow...

* no, not really.