EOTW #Silver Jubilee

Well, look at that. EOTW has made it to 25. Break out the bunting, open some own-brand sparkling wine & warm a few sausage rolls (careful now). And in honour of this landmark, we bring you another generous helping of your Euphemisms Of The Week, as heavily trailed at 33% off on QVC last week*

Recently observed on the web of shame:

• Clearing out the cutlery drawer
• Patting the wig 
• Camping on the heath
• Sleeping in the beige caravan
• Crimping the pasty

More to follow...

* no, not really

Thank You For The Days

Just back from a wonderful weekend away; a birthday treat from my excellent wife Solveig (in conjunction with the as-per-usual top-notch babysitting services provided by mum & dad, for which much thanks are due).

Having nipped off early on Friday afternoon and taken the appropriate exit off the M4 (indeed, we had to Turn After Reading*), we headed for the picturesque Goring-on-Thames in which nestles The Miller Of Mansfield, as recommended on Mr & Mrs Smith. Really nice little 'boutique' pub hotel with a fantastic restaurant (do try the shin of beef, it was as melty as it gets) as well as a snug bar with a log fire and a decent selection of gins. We realised when we arrived that we had somehow forgotten how to relax; indeed, it took a while for us to stop wondering where on earth the kids were. But unwind we did and with some walks along the (thin end of the) Thames and a trip up to Bicester on the Saturday, it was a properly brilliant break from the Smoke.

Due to good planning, we also squeezed in an extra treat on the way back, in the form of a visit to Heston Blumenthal's pub in Bray, the Hind's Head (in fact, as we were a bit early, we went looking for the Fat Duck, but somehow never found it!) and what a treat it was. We were tempted by the Sunday roast, but both decided on pies, having been advised by a few people that they were worth the journey. We did start with a Scotch (quail's) egg each, though, and these were splendid - by turns crispy, meaty and perfectly soft:

For our mains we had Shepherds Pie (with lamb leg, breast and sweetbreads topped with mustard mash) and Spinach & Mushroom Pie (served with a Jerusalem artichoke sauce). They were both outstanding and tasted as good as they look:

After a full weekend of indulgence, we simply couldn't face dessert, so we'll just have to go back and try the rest of the menu at some point. Right, dear?

Anyway, what a brilliant weekend - almost enough to make me forget that next year is THAT ONE :)

* I'm truly sorry, I really am

Hubris...

...would be to overdo last night's result, but a picture paints a thousand words:

However, as Rowan, a Chelsea fan for whom I have the utmost respect, said (on Twitter):

Get back to me in May and we'll talk

Nuff said.

No They Couldn't, Stephen

Confession

Mens Things

Via Scaryduck:

Pavlov's Cat: Things That Make You A Man

Added to which should be, of course, BUILDING A SHED!

More to follow...

Shed Watch #1

It's here!

Somewhere in that lot are some instructions, I hope. Watch this space (or if you are our neighbours, watch the scrubby bit at the back of the garden next to the leylandii and the holly bush...)

Women And Children First

Just moments ago, Arsenal added the 2009 FA Youth Cup to the trophy cabinet with a 6-2 aggregate victory over Liverpool. In a remarkable coincidence, tonight was the 20th anniversary of the astonishing last-gasp title-clinching goal* from Michael Thomas - also at Anfield and a game in which Steve Bould, tonight's coach, was a key member of the back four. Funny how these things work out.

Huge congratulations to them and also to Arsenal Ladies who this year won the FA Women's Premier League (again), FA Cup (again) and League Cup (again).

Now if some of that sweet smell of victory could work its way into the First Team dressing room before next season, I shall be a very happy man.

* the goal comes about 7'25" into the video and brings tears to my eyes to this day (and how odd does it look when the goalkeeper picks it up from a backpass)

Sugar Spun Sister

So 'The Stone Roses' was released 20 years ago this weekend.

As a debut album, it was astonishing - anthemic, delicate, emotional, witty, powerful and enigmatic - with hand-crafted lyrics from Ian Brown, intricate guitar work from John Squire floating above the rolling bass sounds of Gary Mountfield and Alan Wren's chugging drums keeping your feet moving, for me it was the sound of the beginning of the 1990s.

Regrettably, I don't seem to have any photos to hand of my baggy jeans, flowery hoodie and shaggy (whisper it, undercut) hair but you can get some idea of my image of the time from this:

Yes, in a totally unrelated coincidence, Freyja appeared for breakfast today dressed ready for Spike Island.

I'm so very proud (and ever so slightly wistful).

Bring It On

I am now officially ridiculously excited about the Man Utd v Arsenal Champions League Semi Final (1st Leg) in only 21 hours and 17 minutes (and the 2nd Leg next Tuesday).

Two of the very best, most fluent, free flowing, attacking sides in Europe, over two legs, home and away. Too close to call? Prety much - the previous 37 meetings between Messrs Wenger and Ferguson have ended as follows:

Arsenal win: 15
Man Utd win: 14
Draw: 8

I can't even bring myself to put any money on it...

Come. On. You. Gunners

Peace, Lily

Right.

I'm going to stand here and say to a possibly wearisome & increasingly cynical world that I really like the new Lily Allen album, apart from (the slightly bizarre) Never Gonna Happen*.

And I also liked the last one.

So we seem to have arrived at a situation whereby either (a) she has made two utterly godawful pop albums and I sit here totally outed as the owner of a musical ear more befitting a mutilated koala or (b) they deserve a bit of an unprejudiced listen.

Your choice. And indeed, as ever, your loss.

Oh, did I mention that Spotify rocks like nothing else? I did? OK, good. Do it. Now.

* which for some reason feels exactly like three songs merged into one in an increasingly-desperate coke-fuelled last-minute ignore-the-Grade-Five-Theory-rules-of-musical-chord-progression-Dave-coz-we-have-an-album-to-deliver edit, presumably because it was.

Change 24

Today's change was to my age. Yes, thirty-eight years ago (around 6.30pm, I'm told, just in time for a gin & tonic) I arrived in the world, a little yellow* bundle of joy**. From Kingston Hospital back home to Richmond*** where my mum finally got to tuck into her pork chop****.

Still here, though; so far, so good. Happy birthday to me!


* like all the best people, I had jaundice
** possibly a little artistic licence here
*** now there's posh
**** long story...

Change 21

Today's change involves us entering the astrological sign of Aquarius, which also means it is very nearly my birthday! Now I have to admit that I am not a follower of the mystic art of astrology, as it is what is commonly known as 'a load of claptrap' but apparently Aquarians display some or all of the following traits *deep breath*

Strong-willed, stubborn, obstinate, very opinionated, conceited, far-sighted, visionary, revolutionary, original, innovative and inventive, tolerant of other views, seeing both sides of the argument, unprejudiced and objective, humane, humanitarian, altruistic, idealistic, having high expectations, friendly and sociable, inconsistent, shirking personal commitment, loyal in friendship, remote, detached, aloof, impersonal, emotionless, cold, devoted to goals, free-spirited, rebellious, hides true feelings, independent, individualistic, intelligent, intellectual, curious, seeks mental challenge, very clever, witty, unpredictable, eccentric, unconventional, misunderstood, enigmatic, magnetic, progressive, imaginative, intuitive, frank, outspoken, unwilling to participate in any standard of protocol.

So we are friendly & sociable but detached & aloof, objective & progressive as well as obstinate & outspoken and loyal & enigmatic whilst still emotionless & cold.

Er, right...

Change USA

Today's other change is, of course, this:




Good luck to him. And while we're at it, where's our young, thrusting man of the people to guide our ailing country out of the mouldering pit of recession into a future fit for our children? Well?

Nifty Fifty

This is genius.

The Hype Machine: Music Blog Zeitgeist 2008

Forget the magazine editors & big label marketing budgets. This is the best music from 2008 chosen by the most passionate music fans alive: music bloggers.

You can stream the Top 50 Albums individually off the site, or listen to them in blocks of 10 as a podcast. Oh, and while you're there play the Top 50 Songs by month or read the Top 50 Artist reviews, as compiled by the thousands of music bloggers around the world.

Wow. There goes the rest of the month...

Happy New Year (Quietly)

Just about to head off in a big old 4x4 to the Omani desert to set up camp and see in the New Year; however, breaking news suggests that Sheik Mohammed bin Rashid Al Maktoum may have other ideas:

Dubai cancels New Year's festivities for Gaza

Talk is that it will be scaled back to a ban on fireworks and excessive external celebrations, but it's certainly an interesting move, especially if your main source of income is tourism :)

Anyway, hope you have a great time (noisy or quiet) wherever you are - see you in 2009!

Phone Gone

Bah. After over ten years without misplacing a mobile, I have only gone and lost my new SonyEricsson in Dubai. There's a lot of desert to search, but in the meantime, if you sent me a text or voicemail or tried to call in the last week or so, I will have been somewhat 'out of range'. Sorry about that.

Normal service will be resumed when I get back to the office on 5th Jan but in the meantime, Happy New Year for 2009!

Home Alone

It's very, very quiet here.

This year, it is once again time to spend Christmas in Dubai, with Solveig's family. Although very much a Muslim country, the proliferation of western ex-pats and massive shopping malls means that Christmas is a big deal over there. Despite my default setting at this time of year being a Level 37 Scrooge, I do rather enjoy the incongruousness of eating the traditional Christmas roast dinner* outside, near the desert, in 25 degree heat, under a portable gazebo :)

Anyway, the other factor is of course that Dubai is a long way away: five four hour time difference and roughly a seven hour flight. So it's clearly not worth popping over after work on Christmas Eve and buggering off around teatime on Boxing Day. This year, Solveig was understandably keen to get as much time as possible there, with ready access to delighted babysitting grandparents for Theo and energetic older cousins for Freyja (warm weather, good shopping and a heated swimming pool may also have featured in the discussion). I could just about negotiate two weeks off work (as I did the Christmas week graveyard shift last year) but with her on maternity leave, it would be silly not to stretch it for the rest of the family as much as possible.

The long and short of this is that yesterday she loaded up the car with children, luggage, pushchair, travel sweets, magazines, Kendal Mint Cake and a navigator (her excellent sister Angharad, who Freyja adores) as well as printed maps, laptop-based routefinder, sat nav, A-to-Z and mobile phone with me on speed dial. After the first call ("How do I make the water squirt onto the windscreen?") they were off. BA flight 109 from Heathrow T5 to Dubai was waiting. After the traditional crawl round the M25, they arrived at BCP to be told that yes they could park there but the courtesy coach could only take them to Terminal 4, from where they would need to take a regular scheduled London bus to Terminal 5**. Not happy, but what can you do? Anyway, finally the call comes - they're there, checked in, had dinner, kids in pyjamas and waiting to be called for the flight. Phew. And sure enough, woke up this morning (after what can only be described as a three-hour lie-in) to a text message saying that the kids were brilliant on the flight and everyone is smiling and happy in the UAE sunshine.

So I can relax. With TMS commentary of the India test, Arsenal the lunchtime match on the box, a pork pie in the fridge as well as it absolutely chucking it down outside (so I couldn't rake the metric tonne of leaves off the garden, even if I wanted to, which I don't) it's pretty relaxed chez fourstar. I shall miss them all terribly for the next week, but it's good to be able to breathe out once in a while :)

As I said, it's very, very quiet here...


* Which I have just realised, with the arrival of Theo, will be for 11 people this year!

** Having been informed of this by a rather stressed wife I decided to look into it and as far as I can tell it turns out that yes, there is Long Stay parking at the shiny new T5 but it is exclusively run by BAA, is literally TWICE the price of the other operators and they won't let the independents (BCP, Purple, Flyaway, etc) run their courtesy coaches direct to T5. Insert insulting swear word of choice here.

PythonTube

Brilliant idea. Who would have thought it, eh? Fans of your oeuvre might want a place to go to get high-quality versions of your archived work. Amazing. Yes, we might even click a few ads and buy a few DVDs, T-shirts and the like.

MontyPython's YouTube Channel

Now, if you wouldn't mind going and having a quiet word with the buffoons at the RIAA...

Wilshere Class

This is rapidly turning into a football blog. Sorry about that, but the quality of some/most/all of Arsenal's youngsters last night was breathtaking. 

Arsenal 3 - 0 Wigan

Five English players were in the starting line-up, one of whom was 16-year-old Jack Wilshere who once again impressed. Direct, with poise under pressure, the ability to ride a tackle and a keen eye for a through ball, he provided the eye-of-a-needle pass for Simpson's first goal. As Gunnerblog said,

"Fabio Capello was in the crowd last night, and I doubt it was to watch Titus Bramble."

which made me laugh a lot. 

It was the usual £10/£5 tickets so myself, Paul, Jenny and PJ joined a full-house Emirates (over 59,000 for a mid-week Carling Cup game?!!) and watched as the little scamps took Wigan to pieces, with Ramsey impressing again in midfield, Djourou a rock in defence and Vela scoring another sublime chip:

A word too for Fabianski who produced a close-range double save of the highest order near the end to deny De Ridder and then Zaki a consolation goal. 

So the quarter-final draw is on Saturday. Who's next for the kids - Spurs again?

Samir We Go Again

What a match.

Arsenal 2 -1 Manchester United

Two proper footballing sides playing proper football. You can stuff your long throw routines up your arse; that's what this game is all about. Even Fergie admitted afterwards:

"Sometimes you have to hold your hands up and say that if you're going to be beaten make sure it is against a team that plays football."

And this is the way to win a match; watch Walcott's run across the edge of the box that drags three players out of position and opens up the gap, Nasri runs into the space, Cesc plays him in, thunderous shot, two-nil:

Of course, the question is still, "What do we do at 0-0 after 85 minutes when the opposition have had nine men behind the ball for the entire game?" but the amount of confidence this win will bring to the dressing room is immense. Love it. Still 6 points off the pace and United have a game in hand, but feels much better to be a Gooner today!