EOTW #30-ish

...so I gave her a pearl n... ah, there you are!! Sorry for the wait but we had leaves on the line at West Byfleet and heavy fog at Camden Parkway (plus I had to go back for my Thermos).

Anyway, pull up a pew, it's a bumper Twitter-only edition of Euphemisms Of The Week, in honour of the forthcoming Royal Wedding (it says here - personally I'd rather be "watching the cricket"...)

Recently observed on the 'tweet of shame':

• Loading an antique blunderbuss
• Fluffing the pillows
• Having dinner with the Trumps
• Crying on Putney Bridge
• Passing a sausage to the Lord Mayor
• Jogging round the Gherkin
• Taking a Norwegian teleconference
• Cleaning the drains with a Turbo Snake
• Eating scorpions for pudding
• Proposing in Kenya

More to follow...