Onoz! Teh Spaartanz!!!111

Excellent! Your favourite worst films condensed into half a kilo of words and fully l33T h4X0r'd up for the youth by b3ta regular (and 2002 winner of some Grauniad award or something), Scaryduck:

Scaryduck: Condensed Filmz

"Princess Leia: You'll never take me alive! Oh. You have."

"Foreign: Ah hahahaha! I have got away from J. Bond with my camera-friendly l33t running-and-jumping-about sk1llz and by hiding in my country's embassy, where I am supposedly safe. ROFFLE!"

"Hooper: I'll help! I hav l33t shrk kllng sk1llz! LMAO"

Six so far, hopefully more to come - how about "The Unbearable Lightness Of Being"...