Overheard #11101011

OK, so this was 'overheard' on Twitter but it made me chuckle anyway:

"Pirates?"

"No, veg suppliers..."

EOTW #24

Yes, EOTW is back from its summer holidays, and boy is it hungry. Handily enough, this week sees some tasty treats featured in your much-loved, all-beef, special-sauce, quarter-pound Euphemisms Of The Week, which received critical accolades in this month's Saveur magazine*

Recently observed on the web of shame:

• Unfolding the tortilla
• Rubbing the garlic
• Warming a triple marshmallow
• Flying to mango-land
• Cradling the peanut

More to follow...

* no, not really

EOTW #21

A fresh batch of lovely, warm Euphemisms Of The Week as cooked at Gas Mark 6 for 20 minutes by Pastry & Baking North America* (can you imagine the size of the tin?)

Recently observed on the web of shame:

• Microwaving a muffin
• Unwrapping a Tunnocks
• Boxing up the cupcakes
• Forking the profiteroles
• Riding a Dutch bike**

More to follow...

* no, not really
** just for Mel :)

Overheard #2,411,333

Every good anecdote should start this way:

"So I nearly got killed by a Walls sausage lorry this morning..."

Thank You For The Days

Just back from a wonderful weekend away; a birthday treat from my excellent wife Solveig (in conjunction with the as-per-usual top-notch babysitting services provided by mum & dad, for which much thanks are due).

Having nipped off early on Friday afternoon and taken the appropriate exit off the M4 (indeed, we had to Turn After Reading*), we headed for the picturesque Goring-on-Thames in which nestles The Miller Of Mansfield, as recommended on Mr & Mrs Smith. Really nice little 'boutique' pub hotel with a fantastic restaurant (do try the shin of beef, it was as melty as it gets) as well as a snug bar with a log fire and a decent selection of gins. We realised when we arrived that we had somehow forgotten how to relax; indeed, it took a while for us to stop wondering where on earth the kids were. But unwind we did and with some walks along the (thin end of the) Thames and a trip up to Bicester on the Saturday, it was a properly brilliant break from the Smoke.

Due to good planning, we also squeezed in an extra treat on the way back, in the form of a visit to Heston Blumenthal's pub in Bray, the Hind's Head (in fact, as we were a bit early, we went looking for the Fat Duck, but somehow never found it!) and what a treat it was. We were tempted by the Sunday roast, but both decided on pies, having been advised by a few people that they were worth the journey. We did start with a Scotch (quail's) egg each, though, and these were splendid - by turns crispy, meaty and perfectly soft:

For our mains we had Shepherds Pie (with lamb leg, breast and sweetbreads topped with mustard mash) and Spinach & Mushroom Pie (served with a Jerusalem artichoke sauce). They were both outstanding and tasted as good as they look:

After a full weekend of indulgence, we simply couldn't face dessert, so we'll just have to go back and try the rest of the menu at some point. Right, dear?

Anyway, what a brilliant weekend - almost enough to make me forget that next year is THAT ONE :)

* I'm truly sorry, I really am

All That Jazz

Our team Christmas lunch this year was at Ronnie Scott's jazz club, where you can enjoy an afternoon of food and wine accompanied by sets from three different performers (credit to Dei, our editor, for this inspired idea!) We heard a piano trio, then a great tenor saxophonist and finally a female vocalist, who really whipped the audience up into a festive frenzy, especially with her versions of classic Christmas numbers done in the musical style of the audience's choosing (the dub reggae 'Silent Night' was hilarious). It was a pretty tremendous way to spend an afternoon.

However, part of the deal is that everyone joins in for a big number at the end on kazoos (nicely laid out with the cutlery at each place setting). This was great fun, but even better was when they asked for volunteers to come up for a jam on the famous Ronnie Scott's stage, which has been graced by innumerable all-star names from the music world, past and present.

I didn't need asking twice, but I did let Jeremy go first for a microphone level test; old habits die hard. What's that? Is there a recording of this spectacular event? I thought you'd never ask:

And massive thanks to Alex for his off-the-cuff iPhone camerawork :)

Overheard #93

A meeting room in the City, mid-morning:

"Yeah, there isn't enough room on the table for a projector, due to all the croissants."

Overheard #90

Another food-based one from earlier today:

"So how would you make a breakfast bagel , Mike?"
"Well, I'd soak them in water for three hours then throw them away."

Just Billing Time

Interesting idea, recording all interaction with particular companies/brands and then invoicing them (at your full hourly client charge-out rate) for your time, ostensibly to ascertain how much they value you as a customer but also to highlight the consumer/brand power question:

#sixweeks

The letter from Julian at Pret is excellent :)

PubStop

Brilliant idea; no more KFC rip-offs or oily £8.49 3-item Granada breakfasts:

PubStop

Or you could not bother actually going anywhere for your summer holiday and spend two weeks in your local :) Still, we shall be using this next time we venture North...

What I Done On My Holidays #2

The house in France is lovely, but the cooker is over twenty years old and takes about eleven days to heat up to a temperature only vaguely near the one you selected. As such, we tend to BBQ a lot: confit de canard, saucisses de Toulouse, épaule de sanglier and that traditional rural French dish, chicken tikka :)

The latter was on the menu for tonight, so fire was required:

Oh, and there's none of that charcoal malarky - this is purely a wood burning affair. And bloody delicious it was too.

Overheard #84

Yes, it was as weird as it sounds:

"No, it's too reflective; I'm going to have to move your grapes."

Breaking The Seal

There are some things in life to which you want to be first.

I'm not talking about the North Pole, the finish line of the New York marathon or the handbag department of Selfridges on Boxing Day.

No, what I find the most satisfying of all is being the first person to plunge a knife into a brand new pot of Marmite. Penetrating the slight oily sheen and carving down into the murky depths of its rich, black goodness, leaving an almost perfectly hemispherical scar in the otherwise pristine surface.

Clearly, this is not limited to Marmite; many other spreads lend themselves to this phenomena. Peanut butter (smooth more than crunchy) is good, as is Nutella.

However, although you'd think they might, pots of jam & marmalade really don't give that same exhilarating feeling of being the one to break virgin territory. And honey is rubbish as it 'self-heals'.

So what do you like to be first to?

First person to say '...point out that you have ended your sentence with a preposition' owes me a bag of Twiglets.

Overheard #83

The epitomy of restraint:

"I don't really like Krispy Kreme donuts. Apart from the plain ones. With the icing"

Overheard #74

Straight out of a sit-com? No, this was literally just now here at Arbuthnot Towers, in a discussion about who was going to go out for breakfast:

Go on, I'll have a fried egg baguette with two eggs, but no ketchup - I've got the gym.

Change 31

Today's change was dificult to choose, as there were two.

We went over to a bar in deepest, darkest West London this afternoon to say adios to Dan and Mishka, who are moving to Seville next week. It was worth the schlep through the traffic as there were quite a few people we hadn't seen for ages, good food, the footie was on and Freyja was in a terriffic mood, generally being hilarious, entertaining all the adults, charming all the bar staff and scoffing all the chips. But that's really a massive change for them so I am more inclined to go for the discovery that our local pub, The Honor Oak, has just started doing Saturday brunch. On the spur of the moment this morning, we decided to brave the cold and walk over the hill to sample it. I am so glad we did; I had literally the best sausages* I have ever eaten, alongside wonderful thick cut bacon and some crispy black pudding.

I think we may go every week.

* apparently from a local butcher called Peter James, which we will be checking out forthwith!

Change 28

Today's change was yoghurt, instead of granola, for breakfast. Our local Pret has said it is stopping its granola offering shortly (the fools) and it has been in increasingly short supply all week. Still, yoghurt clearly still counts as 'gloop' so my January resolution* is still intact. Two more days and counting...

* my trademarked and patented Soup 'n' Gloop diet, in case you were wondering.

Change 27

Today's change was actually an additional change from yesterday (I know, I know, so sue me...)

Anyway, at the aforementioned vendor lunch, I ordered Cha Han as a bit of a change from my usual. Obviously I'd spotted that it came with prawns but assumed that, given my well-documented-since-childhood disdain for things-of-the-sea, I would just push them to one side and think no more about it. However, when my dish arrived, not only was it steaming hot (and accompanied by those great little multicoloured pickles) but the advertised prawns were most definitely not the pathetic nonentities you might stumble across in a badly-thought-out late night chow mein; no, these were monsters, seemingly grilled to perfection and laid on top of a mound of golden, steaming fried rice, glistening in the lunchtime sunlight ('steady on' - Food Porn Ed). I simply had to try them. And do you know what? They were great.

So I think I may have just had a seafood epiphany. And for anyone who knows me, that's change.

Change 26

Today's change was a last-minute invitation to lunch with one of our vendors, which was rather nice. There's a lot of it about at the moment; anyone would think they were the teensiest bit worried about the threat of major cost-saving contract negotiations amongst City brokerage institutions...

Change 23

Today's change was a visit to a new (to us) restaurant, Sapporo Ichiban in Catford Broadway. What can I say - fantastic Japanese food including fresh gyoza, ramen, teriyaki & katsu, all made to order in front of you and at credit-crunch prices. Whilst nothing to look at from the outside, the 'sunken' tables at the rear are an fun & interesting feature and it would be worth coming with a big group and taking advantage of the unlimited buffet, with a shed-load of Sapporo (what else!) Did I mention they do takeaway as well? We have a new favourite place...