and it led me to think about the nonsense I spout on a semi-daily basis. Now I have distinctly different "at home" and "at work" phrases (as should everyone...) but for the purposes of this exercise, there is one Pharaoh of phrases, an Excalibur of exclamations, the Prince of proclamations, which is:
"Everyone's a winner, petit dejeuner"
Back in the heady days when I used to play sax in a touring soul covers band, we shared the stage with two of the most hilarious guys I have ever met. Tony (trombone) and Shaun (guitar) had known each other for years and had such a natural rapport they could easily have been working the clubs as a double act. They would have the tour bus in stitches at their tales of derring do and natural affinity for the absurd, which lifted the spirits of those humour-sapping drives across, say, for example, to pick somewhere totally at random, Lincolnshire.
However, whenever something went particularly well (which could be anything ranging from a well-paid gig in Dublin to a delicious sausage roll from a Sunderland truckstop), without fail Shaun would exclaim "Everyone's a winner!" always followed closely by Tony's rejoinder of "Petit dejeuner!".
Now quite why a French breakfast should be the epitome of delight for two jobbing musicians from York, I have no idea - and I'm not sure they did either. However, it stuck with me and to this day, when something goes well at work or at home, this is the line I come out with.
As I traverse the internet, stumbling from comments thread to twitter feed to forum post, I find myself inexorably drawn to those random phrases which, taken out of context, force a chuckle of childish delight upon me at the somewhat euphemistic nature of their very existence.
So, gentle reader, for 2010 I will be starting a fresh theme based on a weekly round-up of five of the best on offer out there on the intertubes, as witnessed by my very own eyes/ears.
Now I'll come clean from the off and admit I have a bit of a lengthy backlog, so the first few may contain bits and bobs from the tail end of 2009 - hey, you may even see your choice epithet in lights...
Childish? Silly? Mind like a Welsh railway? Guilty as charged, m'lud. Bring it on...
Full of stuff that we and our parents maybe used to try with a healthy disregard for health & safety and/or social services (licking batteries, playing in hailstorms, supergluing two fingers together...) plus the rejuvenation of the seemingly long-lost idea that the best way to find out whether you should be doing something is to try it, once.
Our team Christmas lunch this year was at Ronnie Scott's jazz club, where you can enjoy an afternoon of food and wine accompanied by sets from three different performers (credit to Dei, our editor, for this inspired idea!) We heard a piano trio, then a great tenor saxophonist and finally a female vocalist, who really whipped the audience up into a festive frenzy, especially with her versions of classic Christmas numbers done in the musical style of the audience's choosing (the dub reggae 'Silent Night' was hilarious). It was a pretty tremendous way to spend an afternoon.
However, part of the deal is that everyone joins in for a big number at the end on kazoos (nicely laid out with the cutlery at each place setting). This was great fun, but even better was when they asked for volunteers to come up for a jam on the famous Ronnie Scott's stage, which has been graced by innumerable all-star names from the music world, past and present.
I didn't need asking twice, but I did let Jeremy go first for a microphone level test; old habits die hard. What's that? Is there a recording of this spectacular event? I thought you'd never ask:
And massive thanks to Alex for his off-the-cuff iPhone camerawork :)
